I’ve never googled so much before I’ve found that I’m expecting. I had millions of questions and no other way to find the answers: my parents are no longer the baby experts as the parenting changed significantly since they had me, and I was so afraid of children before that I simply lost all useful connections. Google is all I left.

The more questions I got, the more experienced mom (and researcher) I become. A year later (my kid is 10 months now) I have time to ask myself another question: how did humanity not become an extinct species without Google and why am I having all that damned baby questions??

Long story short – here’s my list of struggles and problems moms and dads face in 2019. And how to deal with them.

1. No big families or family early separation

Surprise, huh? But think of those time when there was no Google, no cell phones and Teslas. Go deeper to the times of agricultural society, castles, knights, and wars. And ladies, of course. In those time even reading books was a thing. Big families with 5-10 children was a normal situation (only 1-3 of them could grow up into adults btw) and knowledge of childcare grew with the children. The oldest took care of smaller ones, girls learned to be Moms from their youngest years.

What we have now? One or two children in a family mostly. Kids spread through the world upon reaching the age of majority. A family gathers only on holidays and great if everybody loves to see each other (sometimes we don’t).

The Family knowledge of newborns care lost and need to be learned from the beginning.

How to deal with it?

Go networking! Perfect situation – are your local options. Otherwise… Social media was invented not only to watch unbelievable travel and lifestyle stories. Find moms communities on Facebook or Instagram to have examples, ask questions and find the motivation to go on. Here’re a few great findings I adore:

2. Too much information from numerous gurus

There are two sides to the coin and the bad thing of having Google on the top of the fingers is having too much information. A simple question like the color of babies poo shows tonnes of advice, researches, and warnings. And I’m only want to know if green poo is okay or not. Ugh…

We’re overloaded with the information, often try to get the best decision and feel upset when we fail. Add to this formula a kid, which is changing almost on a day-to-day basis – here is a nice recipe of a really struggled parents.

How to deal with it?

Choose a few resources which more or less have a variety of topics and a fine base of advisers (doctors, experts). Go search your questions there first, and only you can’t find the answer – then go on and search on another source. Several ideas of trusted web sites I use all the time:

3. Social pressure

There’s no better way to make a new mom feel guilty then the social condemnation. We live in great time and many of sustained decency rules become a history. But can you still breastfeed a baby in public or you will think if this is appropriate first? I couldn’t despite a normal (in general) public reaction to such action in my city. My good manners couldn’t stand with it.

Then it comes again. You formula-fed a baby too early or you breastfed a baby for too long, you sent it to daycare or you sat with a baby until school age, you turned an iPad to keep it calm or you don’t show cartoons to a baby at all, etc. In each situation, there will be somebody to blame you and to tell you you’re wrong.

How to deal with it?

Create your rules. Simply choose your position on the topics you may feel pressure and stick with it. This helps!

4. To-make-all-done and I-will-handle-it-by-myself syndromes

This one is my favorite. I am kind of a person who is used to do everything by myself. It’s been always too hard and too long to reach results, but asking for help seems to be harder. It happened to me with a baby too. I’ve been trying to deal with the kid, the dog, the house and daily routine, with the 2 projects and freelancing. Until I got burnt-out.

How to deal with it?

You have only 2 options here:

  1. Stop doing anything not connected to the survival of your kid and yourself. No, I mean it. Dirty dishes and sticky pajamas are nothing when it comes to a burn-out. Your husband can do groceries or order pizza. Or do dishes. Take care of yourself and your baby first.
  2. Get help! Trust me, please, just ask for help! Me, who hates asking anything from anyone – I found a dog walker for my 8-years westie for 4 evenings a week. I felt almost free of walking the dog at all! (Yeah, my husband is in a long-term business trip, he helps with the dog when he’s home of course). I plan to try a cleaner for my home and a part-time day-care for a baby. I do it – you can too.

5. Untrue information from the mass market factories

The most tricky, cuz you never know if it’s true or the information was sponsored. I have a great example with the formula feeding promotion which cased decrees in breastfeeding culture. Don’t have anything to add here, just a very strange situation worldwide.

How to deal with it?

Double check the info if there anything you are unsure about. Unfortunately, you never know for sure. Only the Paranoid Survive.

Bottomline

It is a challenge to be a parent in 2019. Our strength and weakness in the information – use it wisely. Networking is a thing when it comes to moms or dads anxiety. Asking for help is a survival kit.

Trust yourself and your baby. You will be amazed by how this little human knows what it really needs.