Last half of the year with a baby was full of insights for me. Algorithm of getting the insight is following: some shit happens -> me anger -> take a brake of the situation -> get back to the situation in my head after a while -> try to find a cause and bottom-line it for myself -> insight!
Well, the situation described is perfect, of course. Don’t think it happens so smoothly in real life. Sometimes I need weeks between the anger and thebottom line periods. The method is awesome and here’s a real example.
My little one is still a bad sleeper. She falls asleep only in my arms. Rocking is not always necessary, but almost 9 kg is a big thing to think of an independent sleep as an option. Baby has tonnes of other annoying stuff in the background: teething, walking, eating solids, big babies on the playground – you name it! So that gives us a long, rebel and some-kind of a loosey-goosey sleeping routine.
That was the part of a some kind of shit, anger, and a brake. Check!
I began to think about the causes of such behavior.
Ha-ha! There’re millions of reasons, it won’t work this way. I need to peek one and to try to improve the sleeping situation. Because my target point is a bubbled bath, reading a book and self-soothing baby angel. Instead of a 9 kg monster in my arms for an hour or even longer.
Okay. Thinking of the millions of reasons and my personal active habits nature (I will describe my usual day soon) – I thought that my kid might have a lack of my attention. That maybe with such on overload in her development, she just needs to be hugged! The theory is fine. Let’s try it on.
I acted in two steps. First, I slowed down my working rash to have more quality time with my kid (very interesting and unusual experience, I’ll make a big post about it for sure – but now you may read announce here). Second, I gave my baby an extra portion of my attention and positive emotions before her sleep – just to fill her with that kind of tactile and communication experience.
The first part is pretty much obvious I guess. I only grouped my working and housekeeping tasks so that they were not spread through the day, but combined in sections. I received an hour or so of free time (only because of grouping my tasks! Crazy, right?) – which all spent with my little one.
The second part is more challenging and more interesting.
I’ve been trying to change her mood while falling asleep for several days by that time: from a noisy and weeny – to calm and smile. All methods counted: whispers and telling stories to the tummy, funny sounds and silly faces to make her smile – not to cry. It was challenging not to cross the line of a quiet game before the night so that the kid stayed sleepy. It worked on the third day! My little one started to change crying to smiling. It was a huge thing for me!
The next part happened accidentally, but I took its advantages and it’s working for us for the two days already. The kid was an anxious sleeper, and falling asleep was a tough part of our day routing. I may have overdriven her, I’m not sure exactly. But what I know is that it was a nightmare. So. I’ve tried to take her tighter in my arms while she was super active before getting asleep and shushed quietly, and sang a song, and whispered things we did that day into her little ear, and so on. She was straggling first. But in a few moments, she got calm and passed out in another few moments. Yes! Passed out so I could put her in the crib and leave!
I guess that due to a developmental boost, the kid was overloaded with information and new skills. Another thing is a lack of attention from mom (that’s me, yes). With these final hugs I gave her a little calmness and peace, let her know that mommy is near no matter what.
This may be made up my mind, of course. I will continue to control the situation and to repeat this trick day-to-day – to give my baby an enormous amount of hugs at the end of the day. No matter how much time I was able to spend with her that day. No matter my condition. I will try to be a kind mother to my little angel. Because the truth is this is I need it too – to be a kind enough mom to my child.